I have a friend whom I affectionately call Big Bob. Big Bob routinely endured extra screening at custom’s desks. He was an intimidating and suspicious looking individual back in the day. So much so in fact, his wife –  a beautiful, 100-pound-soaking-wet blonde – was subjected to a strip search in Heathrow Airport. Why? Because she was traveling with Big Bob of course.  

Well, Big Bob “escorted” a female professional from her office hallway all the way to her car one dark night in Denver. The problem, at least from the lady’s perspective, was she had no earthly idea who Big Bob was, and neither knew they were parked in adjacent parking spaces in a multi-level parking garage.  Bob said the lady was preparing for the inevitable attack from this huge stranger as he unlocked his door and drove off. 

Although I could have assured this lady she was safe with Big Bob – indeed, safer with his “escort service” than without – she evidently had misgivings at the moment. This then begs they question why did she get on the elevator with him in the first place? A little speculation informed by experience provides a likely answer: she never considered what she should do in such a situation. How could she have prepared for this situation?

“How do you get to Carnegie Hall?”
        “Practice, man, practice…”

Most skills are acquired through practice. The skills that could have assisted our unnamed female professional are no different. But since there is not really a practice field for these experiences – unless you take time to study martial arts – how does one practice? The easiest way is to run through a series of mental what-if exercises. 

“What if I am walking down the office hallway and discover Big Bob wants on the same elevator?” Easy. Employ the ol’ Dang-I-Forgot-Something routine. You snap your fingers, mutter, “Dang”, spin on your (high) heel and return to the relative safety of your office. 

“What if I am on the elevator when Big Bob enters?” Well, that depends? Did you enter on the same floor as Bob? Refer to Dang-I-Forgot-Something. Did Big Bob press the elevator call button from a separate floor? Then you employ the Hey-This-Is-My-Floor trick. Look up at the floor number, say “Wow, that was quick,” and exit.

You get the idea. You can develop similar OIT’s* for maneuvering through dark parking lots, driving alone through sketchy areas, getting in a fender bender or answering the door when home alone. Now neither elevator OIT guarantees your safety. A nefarious Big Bob imitator – not the real, teddy bear original – could try to stop your retreat from the elevator. However, that is a better situation for two reasons.

“[T]he clever combatant imposes his will on the enemy…”
             Sun Tzu

First, you have forced your attacker to fight on ground favoring you. He wants seclusion, you need attention. Your screams – again, practice screaming… LOUDLY – your screams will summon more help in a hallway than on an elevator. Second, you have purchased room to implement other self-defense mechanisms. A bigger, stronger opponent has an overwhelming advantage in an elevator-sized arena. Even a few feet of separation provides opportunity to deploy a weapon (read: handgun) and inflict wounds before your assailant closes the gap.

So when you have some otherwise idle time, commuting to work or in a meeting, use it to good ends. Say to yourself, how might someone seek to harm me or my loved ones in such-and-such a situation? How can I avoid that situation? If I cannot avoid it, how should I respond.

Going through these mental “what-if” scenarios will not only instill confidence but will also make action more likely and timely when Big Bob appears in the hallway.

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*Old Indian Trick